Where are all the lesbians?
Where are all the Lesbians?
This is an age old question that lesbians ask in every city. Where do we go to mingle with other lesbians? This may seem like a baseless question, but if you think about how you hang out - where you spend your time outside of your home - who are you amongst?
Artists have set places in which they can interact with other artists. They have cafes, galleries and collectives galore. Business people have a sundry of happy hours in which they can trade shots and $1 beers or $20 cocktails while they network to the next deal. But with regards to more marginalized communities in many cases they have it just as easy. African Americans can easily find places in which they can find other African Americans to interact, as can people within the Asian communities, and yes the gay male community.
For de Arts recently surveyed women who identify as lesbians or ladies who love ladies and an idea was expressed that opened another line of thinking for me. The idea of not seeking specifically a lesbian community, but seeking people with like interests who happen to be lesbians. If you are coupled this may be the thing for you. But for us single lesbians, we seek that space full of lesbians where we may happen to have like interests.
"I don’t actually have a 'gay community' although I know gay people..... I've never subscribed to the idea that being gay was enough to develop connections I'd rather meet people who share similar interests ...who happen to be gay." ~ Survey comment
It’s a Numbers Game
Quite frankly, it is about increasing the likelihood of meeting someone with whom you may have a romantic relationship with and with whom you have much in common. It’s what the dating websites survive on. Getting the numbers of participants that eventually their algorithms will find your “match”. And for years, that is exactly why I participated in online dating. I knew that the source would be 95% women who liked women (because there was always an errant male who would contact me) and so that hurdle was already leapt. Now all I had to do was dig into the more challenging task of finding compatibility. But IRL, it’s a complete crapshoot. ESPECIALLY if you fall into the femme category. Femme women don’t just GET hit on by women in the middle of Market Street (You studs out there can correct me if I’m wrong here). We MAY get hit on in the Gayborhood, but hey you could be visiting for a bachelorette party at Woody’s.
A quick Google search of “Lesbian Spots In Philadelphia” netted Woody’s in the Gayborhood and Stir in Rittenhouse Square. Now Woody’s...well the name speaks for itself. I have never gone to Woody’s and didn’t feel like I could relax into a common language. I have had many good times at Woody’s but I always feel like I’m having a good time at someone else’s party. As far as Stir is concerned, although lesbian owned, every happy hour I have attended had a preponderance of maleness. So I dug a little deeper and found a Yelp list of “Best Lesbian Bars (and restaurants)” in Philadelphia. What do you think of this list?
Stir - Rittenhouse Square, 1705 Chancellor St
Tavern on Camac - Washington Square West, 243 S Camac St
Tattooed Mom - Queen Village, South Street District, Society Hill, 530 South St
Toasted Walnut - Washington Square West, Market East, Avenue of the Arts South, 1316 Walnut St
Woody’s - Washington Square West, Market East, Avenue of the Arts South, 202 S 13th St
Washington Square West, Avenue of the Arts South, 1320 Chancellor St
Voyeur Nightclub - Washington Square West, 1221 Saint James St
The Roxxy - Northern Liberties, 939 N Delaware Ave
Delilah’s - Northern Liberties, Penn's Landing, 100 Spring Garden St
Flume - University City, Spruce Hill, 229 S 45th St
Pub on Wolf - 2301 S Front St